Beyond the Mani-Pedi: Redefining Self-Care for Lasting Wellness
Feel like self care is yet another thing to add to your to do list?
In recent years the term self care has become synonymous with the wellness industry, with short term fixes like mani pedis, massages and facials (which don’t get me wrong feel amazing!) defining what it means to ‘do a bit of self care’. But do they create the lasting self care we need to truly help us put our oxygen masks on first?
Here I’ll be sharing some of the 5 ways you can practise self care (which you might actually already be doing and not realising counts as self care!) and a few minimal effort but maximum impact ideas will have you feeling a sense of worthiness and nourishment, without the guilt of yet another thing you’re not getting done.
Firstly, what is self care and why is it important?
Self care is defined as “activities that support and enhance our physical, emotional, social and mental health, and overall wellbeing. It is an ongoing commitment to look after ourselves through helpful practices and actions that protect us during periods of stress” (Life In Mind, 2023)
With this in mind, while mani pedis might tick the box of having us looking physically better and giving us a short boost of short term pleasure and relaxation (again, both valid and important!), we need to look at ways to deliver longer term benefits and that deliver on the need for ongoing commitment to look after ourselves and to reduce stress.
Holding Your Boundaries
In the journey of personal growth, one of the most vital skills to master is the art of holding your boundaries. As a life coach, I often witness clients grappling with this essential aspect of self-care and self-respect. Boundaries serve as the invisible lines that define where we end and others begin, safeguarding our well-being and preserving our authenticity.
Setting boundaries isn't about building walls; it's about creating healthy frameworks for relationships to thrive. It requires clear communication, self-awareness, and a firm commitment to honour your own needs and values. It's about saying "yes" when it aligns with your truth and confidently saying "no" when it doesn't.
Holding your boundaries isn't always easy. It may mean facing discomfort or disappointing others momentarily, but the long-term benefits are invaluable. By respecting your boundaries, you cultivate self-respect, deepen connections built on mutual respect, and nurture healthier relationships overall.
This topic is explored beautifully and thoughtfully in the Ezra Klein podcast ‘Boundaries, Burnout and the ‘Goop-ification’ of Self Care’ where guest host Tressie McMillian Cottom discusses the idea of ‘faux self care’ with Dr Pooja Lakshmin
One of the key insights I learned from Dr Lakshmin was ‘setting boundaries means pausing whenever anyone asks me to do something, and remembering I have three choices. I can say yes, I can say no, or I can negotiate. For a long time, I didn’t recognize I had option 2 or 3’.
So next time you’re feeling stressed and someone asks for something additional, could you practise an act of self care by asking yourself, could you try using Options 2 or 3?
Taking care of your physical self
Did you realise that making good choices around your sleep, diet and exercise are acts of self care? All of these things impact our physical and mental health and in turn, allow us to manage our stress levels better.
So next time in your choosing to go to bed earlier rather than bingeing another episode on Netflix, you can give yourself a pat on the back that you’ve ticked the self care box. ’
Love and Connection
Spending time with friends and family boosts our dopamine and oxytocin levels, helping us feel more connected and less stressed. Not only is it a fun and enjoyable act of self care, as I learnt in this Dr Rangan Chatterjee podcast spending time with our loved ones could be one the most important factors (even more so than nutrition and exercise!) in impacting our longevity. So go on! Organise that catch up with your girlfriends you’ve been putting off for ages and know that by just enjoying time together, you’re practising self care.
Work load
Try zooming out from the weeds of your day to day and view your workload from an outsider's perspective. Is your workload actually manageable? If you’re working part-time, do your deliverables align with the amount of time you spend on completing your tasks? If you don’t feel like your workload is achievable, then practise an act of self care and book time to discuss with your manager. Even if no major change is created, even just having the conversation can make a difference.
Thoughts and Emotions
There are many ways you can help process your thoughts and emotions to reduce stress and promote your sense of wellbeing. Journaling, meditation and spending time in nature are easy and cost effective ways to manage your stress and practice self care.
But if you are finding yourself overwhelmed by negative emotions and thoughts, please seek professional help.
So ditch the guilt around self care and take it off your to do list. Just by proactively adding one of these activities into your life, you will be helping to protect and offset some of the negative effects of stress. After all, that’s what self care is all about.
